Here is the stuffs I want to do when I’m there

1. Learn how to drive and possibly get a car
2. Find the way to get a job at uni
3. Buy paints and frame and do painting
4. Redecorate my room
5. Cook for my family
6. Think about what I want to do for my book
7. Making money
8. Promoting ‘Johnnie and the Johnnie, Johnnies’ to BKK and
find the way to take them there
9. Making comics and zines
10. Making music and continue cooking
11. Writing in English as much as I can, Talking in English to myself,
Reading English books.

Ummm couldn’t think more of anything at the moment. Will write more if needed be!!!

Yeah, this year I have wrote only 2 posts what does this mean?!? Hmmm?
This year’s gone so super duper quick for me, every months are still quite
clear in my mind of what I did. I’ve past thru many things, mostly my
various stages of my mind, diving to the deep shit and then find the way
back to light, woo hooo!!!!

Since I’ve got back here in Melbourne in July, I have to live on my own.
Even didn’t have to pay for the rent but it still pretty hard for me, though
Eventually, I am lucky enough that I’ve got many good friends here…

I don’t want to saying anything here much, possibly write down of what
I have found instead. I was very very depressing in the past few months.
Been crying almost every3-4 days which make me feel like shit. And I
think because I let it happened and didn’t try hard enough to stop me
being like that. And then suddenly one day I’d realized how selfish and
needy I am from a good friend then I start it all over again. Like being
back to myself, got to my inner peace again. I lost it for a year…I knew
because I went back to my diary and read through what had happen in
2008 and found that on the same day of last year I’d got back to my
inner peace and eventually, this year 2009 on the same day I’ve got it
back too ha ha ha how funny is that!!! I start to know how to control my
feeling again. But you know what after that I thought I am stable now
but actually it’s not yet finish. There are still something always come to
test you all the times ha ha ha. But now I am ok : )

Now I am a wanderer, staying at friend’s house, might try to stay in too
many places as much as possible. Actually, it’s like refreshing yourself.
I stayed at Nic’s for 5 days now I am at Paul’s woo hoo fun. I’ve just
realized how much I miss the feeling of having my own room, Privacy!!!
I’d guess that the other thing that cos me a problem…

Ummm I still have no plan for New Year’s Eve!!! What should I do?!?!?

Anyway, I have to promised to myself that will keep blogging more and
moreeeeeeee

Merry x mas and Happy New Year, Yay!!!!

This is like a short break or actually I’m standing on the platform to another stage of my life. Maybe my long long vacation is going to end now, my serious life is coming soon…. or maybe not!!!

I came back here to apply for my new student visa and going back there to start trying live as an animator. At first I thought I might not get this visa, don’t know what is the reason that will make me don’t git it though, just anxious!!! Then I got it in 2 days woo hooooo. Sometimes I think I might have use all the lucks that I have in my whole life. Like actually I suppose to be lucky 3 times a years but I actually used my luck 10 times a years so at the end of my life I might be vey unlucky woman. ahhh so I have to die young!!!
Staying with family make me think clearly about what is important in my life? Who is the one that really caring and loving me!!! I promise mum, this time I’ll be better girl, work harder for you and to prove that myself can do anything I dream of too. Actually I quite admire her as she’s kinda success in her starting point as a writer. Her first book was publish in March this year and 2-3 books will coming out soon too. How great is that, huh? She’s never been to school properly, only did until years 4. I’m so proud of her. And she told me so that because one sentence from me that keep her writng is ‘Finding your dream and make it come true’ So I’ll try my best.
I think that everyone have different life, we can choose our own ways. We don’t have to be the same. Just try to be happy with your life. For now I’m not saying that I don’t need money, it’s super important too. But just how much do you really actually need it. I do need more money but If I can’t and I still can eat and sleep that’s fine. The more I grow older, the less I be out of temper. Umm maybe someone might not agree with this. Ok let’s say this I find some simply things in life that can make me happy easier. I try not to be angry and try to see everythings that happen in my life whether it’s good or bad in a funny way.
ahh the other things is I always love to see people that love for what they do. for example, recently I’ve been to reataurant, post office and juice shop and met very nice, kindly and happy people working there. It make me feel grateful and want to show them that I do support of what they are doing 100%.
umm… whatelse? I guess this is the stage of my life i’m now in. I’m ready for the next!!! woo hoo

At the beginning of this year 2009 like January 1, I felt like something very
good going to happen to me. Some already did happen and some more will
coming I believe. Still have no permanent job like last 6 months but I feel
happier with life than usual which I think it’s good enough. At the time
while all my housemates went back to Bangkok, I had learnt so many
things about myself. How should I control my feeling and emotion.
Still need to practice more though. Before this when I stay by myself I
thought I’m strong enough to be like emotional detach but Still….

Today I went to install work with Zoe for our collaborative project
together for Platform’s residency. I have learnt a lot about how to work
with other people. How to balance the ideas of each other. I know that
I still can’t control of my feeling and still showing it straight away
ha ha ha, but it is good that it’s Zoe so she’s kind of understand me a lot
and be patient for a sometimes short tempered girl like me.

I went to Tasmania for Christmas and New Year whuch was real fun.
If I write this blog last months maybe I can talk more about it but this is
kind of too late now and I wrote it in other place. It was super fantastic
that’s all I can say.

I feel like at this time of my life is the big psychological exam. There are
many different stages I need to pass. Some are very hard and some are
not so. And also I learnt that life is a big journey, we keep searching for
something we don’t really know what is and then realised that we don’t
have to know it. Just keep going and going. There are sometimes that we
are losing our track, getting lost in the way by happiness and sadness.
Before this I forgot that happiness also has bad effect to life as well as
sadness. It’s kind of like making you crazier, electrifying than usual.
One of my friend said sadness make you keep going, it is true also.

Umh… keep going duh duh duh dahhh

Last two week, I got busted from the police. Haaaa it’s just one
stupid things, didn’t wear a helmet. First I thinking about don’t
stop when they ask me to but as I saw a red traffic light in front of
me and plus my bad riding skill. It could be worse so then I sadly
stop. I didn’t make any excuse because I think it useless, they
also this kind of excuse million times. I humbly accepted the ticket.
Fuck 52 bucks, I silently shouting in my mind ha ha ha. That’s ok.

Last Monday, I almost steal bicycle from a bum. I’m the worst ha ha.
I was walking home with Aran, we usually walk through Calton
garden. When we enter the garden, Aran saw one bicyle park without
lock, we look around and seem no one be the owner of this bike.
Finally, I dicided to take the bike and almost ride on it. Suddenly,
I heard someone shouting at me like ‘It’s mine, it’s mine’ I turn to
the sound and Shit!! This bike is belong to that homeless guy we
just walk pass from another side of the junction. ha ha ha This’s
hilarious, and I’m so embarrased for what I was doing. I try to tell
him sorry sorry sorry and then I walk away. Umh.. shit shit shit..

Both of my friends were leaving to Thailand on Friday for 2 months.
I miss them so bad and so lonely living by myself now. Actually I
already know that I’ll be fine but it’s just not fun as usual. Before
this I was thinking about don’t have time for myself to sit and think
thoroughly to things in my life and now I have plenty enough…….

So I start to mae a plan of what I want to achieve, hope some of it’ll
be succeed before they come back.

I think the reason why I feel really lonely because in the past 3-4
months we were really close, I always slept over in this house then
I moved in so it become something I get used to. This remind me
when I first arrive Melbourne, even I was living with my friend but
she was very busy so I usually stay by myself do things indepently.
And at that time I was happy as well. So let’s think in another way
round this is a very good opportunity I long for. It’s the time to
make something happen and time to change. Yeahhh…..

First time I think it happened in 2007 around January, I got my bike as
a birthday present from my brother’s money. I bought it from e-bay, it
came in a box and I have to ask Tong, my friend to make it work for
me coz I know nothing about bicycle. After 2 weeks, I rode to ‘Shrine
of Remembrance’ by myself. On the way back, I tried to get into the area
around the monument, I turned my bike left and then found the sign 
‘don’t allow bicycle’ only pedestrian. Half of my bike is in so I tried to
turn right back which is impossible if someone saw it, ha ha ha. Bang!!!
My bike crashed with a short pole and then it broken, I had to walk back
home with my 2 weeks old bike T_T. My bike was in the shop for a week.
When I brought my bike to the shop, they ask me what I have done with
it ha ha ha. Yeah it looked pretty bad condition, luckily that I got the
spare part from the e-bay seller otherwise it suck because it is kind of
vintage bike, difficult to find a part.

It ended up stay in my room for about 3-4 months without riding at all
till I moved to the house on Smith St.

Second time or umh.. not sure. This time was very funny. At Rmit, I was
riding to uni, on the way to take my bike up to the studio have to ride
pass one building. While I tried to turn left, I saw one of my friend ‘Hung’.
I tried to waive my hand and say hello to him. Bang!!! ha ha ha at the
corner of that building. I don’t know why I couldn’t turn my bike not
to hit that building. Umh.. maybe I’m just new biker.

Third, maybe it was the time when… ah just thinking that I did it so
many many times. ok on the way back home, right turn at the corner
of that last Rmit building on Swanston St. I turn right and there were
many people walk in front of me so have to drift my bike then on the
ground there were some sand, I was scared that I gonna fall down so
I drift again then I finally fell off my bike ha ha ha. Lame.

Forth, on the way to uni, while I was just on Smith St. and thinking
about get onto the foot path before Gertrude St. Yeah, my wheel was
parallel to the foot path so YES it couldn’t get on to the Foot path.
Luckily, there was no people on the street because it’s early morning,
just some one in the car at the opposite side maybe wondering what
the heck that girl doing in this quiet morning?

Umh.. I think there still more of it, but couldn’t think of any for now.
Anyway it could have Part Two!!!

After checking out some web sites and just can’t resist to post this
video that I got for a while. Please enjoy his performance.

ps 1. one day I want to be like him ha ha ha.
ps 2. My relationship with blister on index finger has an ending now.

Let’s start, this week is very crazy for me since I graduated and nothing
to do much. Now there are lots of thing that I have to make discipline
for my life. Since the beginning of September I start to get some design
jobs from people I know which is great because I can buy more breads.
Have to finish one by one piece though sometimes I felt very lazy and
just want to slack of. Today I went to install the sticker for window of
Thai Rice Shop restaurant in Camberwell. I thought it was a easy job and
I will get a good pay, yeah but it’ll never be easy like that ha ha ha.

While I prepared everythings for the installation, my client came to the
sticker that I was going to attach to window and point out that the color
of its is wrong, didn’t look the same as she told me to do. First thinking
was “Shit, no not again Lee”. Once I heard that I almost cry because it
means I have to re-print it again and it’ll cost more than I get pay which
I probably work for free. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Ok so I have to go back to the sticker shop and try to print and finish
everything by today. When I got back there, open my file and ofund out
that actually I did it correct, the problem is when it printed out the color
was a bit change. I told my sister’s boss to let her know that I made it
correct, though we still thinking about print it again. Eventually, someone
who incharged of this job was gone home already and no one can print
it out until Monday. So our plan is go back and do the wrong one first
and when the new one finish just change it.

There’s one thing I need to note to myself is don’t be up set because it
won’t help anything, it’ll only get worse. So actually I felt better on the
way to the sticker shop cause there’s nothing for me to up set, it’s just
one mistake. Then let’s it go. Pheww…

I came back and try to attach the sticker to the window which is a bit
difficult to do alone, luckily boss’ sister, she hlep me a lot. While I
almost done, she noticed that the color is not that wrong. Then I got
an idea that if I can persuade them to use this one, my life will be
easierrrrrrrrr a ha. So finally I asked the boss like do you still need me
to print the new one or you just go with this and I discount for my pay
which for me is a lot better than paying the new one. Ok is the answer
yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Now it’s time for emo ha ha ha. Actually I felt a lot better now so no
need to say much. Just some important lesson in life that need to
memorise, born alone, live alone and die alone. Also the expectation
can kill you. That’s enough to say, isn’t it?

Pang told me to smile to myself when I feel sad and it works woooo

Next week will also be a crazy week again, try to finish work for the
exhibition and all other tiny works which I should complete them by
this weekend. Hope tomorrow at the restaurant won’t busy ha ha ha.

Ok, let shall begin about another reaction from destiny. After a hard time in the
last month everthings seem to settle down in their own ways, I feel happy
more. But it’s not lasting long enough for my pleasure then here it come
again.

First when I planned to move in this new house, there are an uncertainty
about how long I can stay in, because the owner plan to lease the house
to other tenants which is mean everyone that live in the house by now all
have to move out immeadiately. At that time I pray to the holy thing that
I want to live in this house, please make the owner change his mind and
it did happen BUT for only 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then after I’m moving
in completely, he changes his mind. Damn Damn Damn!!!!!!!!
it’s mean I need to move out again in 1-2 months.

I knew about this after working on Sunday, got a message from Reece.
After read thru it, I felt like “oh not again, what gonna happen to me next?”
and it is a bit funny too, isn’t it? I do wanna cry but I can’t because it is too
funny but finally I did. Ahhh this reminds me of the conversation I had with
Shelly the other days, talking about how did I deal with all my problems in
the last month. Yeah, just let’s it go, there will find their way out finally.
Umh I’m not sure now that I can think like that, it’s just felt like hopeless.
Maybe it is a sign that I should go back to Thailand as soon as I can. Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

This is too funny, it is too funny, my life T_T